Yay! I got some brussels sprouts! Besides the fact that those two expressions are side by side for possibly the first time in human history, this development is momentous for another reason. Today, for the first time ever, I will post my pickle-making methods. If you like pickled veggies, this is for you. If you don't, then it might still be for you since it's a great recipe and you don't know what you're missing.


    The first thing is to make sure you know what you're doing, canning-wise and that you have the basic equipment on hand. You'll need a canning kettle (preferably one that comes with the jar rack), a box of pint size jars with the two piece "dome" lids, some kind of funnel (a special canning funnel is nice, but not necessary) and a couple of saucepans and wooden spoons. Other than the sauce pans, you can get most of this at your neighborhood hardware store - not the big-box type of store, but the old-fashioned kind where things get kind of dusty and the workers know what they're talking about. You can buy a starters kit that contains most of this stuff, plus some more special items. If you think you'll like canning, then by all means make the investment. (By the way, yes I know that your great-grandma canned 800 quarts a year using nothing but old mayo jars and some parafin. Get the new-fangled stuff anyway. We know more about food-borne pathogens now and it's not all that terribly expensive and should pay you back in savings if you end up canning more than a few pints, depending upon what you can.)


    Next, get thee online or to a library and read the basics of home canning. Most canning books will feature several "how to" pages about preparing jars and lids, processing time, etc. Each box of new jars has good basic instructions, too, and usually comes with a recipe or two. DISCLAIMER: Home canning has a small, but real, inherent risk. Make sure your kitchen and utensils are absolutely clean and that you follow directions well in order to reduce the risk as much as possible. Only high-acid food may be canned safely in a hot water bath (which is what I focus on) so don't go thinking you can make, say, turkey rice soup. You can't. And don't skimp on processing time or acidity recommendations or sealing directives. It's 100% your responsibility to make sure that you follow all the guidelines.


    Now, let's pickle some brussels sprouts. Follow the recommendations for preparing the jars for canning. Place some sprigs of dill, a large clove of garlic and a whole, fresh jalapeno pepper in each pint jar. Fill jar to about 3/4 of an inch below the top with brussels sprouts. In a saucepan, bring to boil 2 cups of water and 2 cups of regular white 5% acidity vinegar (not the fancy-pants gourmet wine stuff) along with a half a cup of pickling or kosher salt. Stir the salt to dissolve. After the vinegar mixture comes to a boil bring it off the heat and pour into each jar using your funnel and a heat-resistant measuring cup, leaving a half inch of head space at the top of the liquid. You should have enough liquid for four pints. Clean off the rims of each jar using a CLEAN towel dipped in very hot water (I use the water in which the lids are boiling) and then seal by placing the flat part of the two piece lid on the rim of the jar and screwing the ring around it until it's nice and tight. Because you are an organized canner you've already started boiling the water in your canner (fill the canner up pretty high - the water should be at least two inches over the top of the jars when the rack is lowered) you shouldn't have to wait too long before it reaches a rolling boil and is ready to receive the prepared jars.


    Place the jars onto the canning rack using either the special tong thingies made for this purpose or a thick oven mitt. Try to balance the jars on the rack so they're not all on one side and tip the rack over. Lower the rack into the canner and cover. Process the sprouts for ten minutes, starting the time count after the water in the canner has come back to a boil. At the end of processing time, remove the jars using your tong thingies or oven mitt and place on the counter on a folded dish towel. Do not mess with the jars or lids while they're cooling. As the jars cool, you'll hear little "pings" indicating that your seals are sealing and you've done a good job.


    Let the pickles season for a couple weeks before you open them to the raves that are undoubtedly coming your way.


    Let's refresh: If you've followed the basic canning instructions you've sought out as well as my recipe you've got heated jars, heated lids, heated pickling liquid, and the sprouts boiling in their jars in acid, as well as being heated by boiling water from outside the jars. This should cover the territory germ-wise, provided the jars seal. Any jars that don't seal can be reprocessed using new flat parts of the lids.


    That's it. I made four pints of picked sprouts as I typed this in real time this morning. Not counting typing time, the four pints required about 20 minutes of preparation, 20 minutes of waiting for the canner to boil and 10 minutes of processing time. That's just a little more than 12 minutes per pint, which will pay you back many times over in the sheer joy of accomplishment and inspiring awe in people who think, quite wrongly as we've seen, that it's hard to can stuff yourself. Today pickles, tomorrow rhubard-ginger marmalade.

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    Today's first topic: funny CNN.com headlines. I'm not talking about those "news of the strange"-type stories (Would-be Bank Robber Writes Demand Note on Own Deposit Slip), but rather articles for which the subject matter is truly serious, but the headline itself just isn't so. For today, see China's Space Base Not Where Thought. My first thought upon reading this was, "Um, you mean the space base isn't in space? Where is it, then?" Of course, what was meant is that China's launch facilities weren't in the earthly location many/most people (at least among those who care) thought they were.

    The previous winning CNN.com funny headline rather lost some humor after reading the story behind it, but just try to read the words Arrest in Fatal Amish Tomato--Tossing Prank without grinning. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not taking pleasure in the fact that someone was actually killed in the tomato-tossing prank, just that the fine folks at CNN couldn't think of a way to headline the story without such seeming insouciance about the whole thing.

    Onward to business: I doubt that I'll be doing much canning in the next two weeks, unless I can get my hands on some decent looking brussels sprouts that aren't too expensive. Instead I'll be preparing for my household's first annual Fall Fest. The menu is: chocolate bread pudding (the one that calls for 8 egg yolks and two cups of cream), gingerbread cookies and pizzelles, apple muffins, pumpkin muffins, s'mores, and popcorn balls. To drink: warm cider, spiced wine, Oktoberfest Bier and regular juice boxes for the kids. We bought one of those coffee dispenser thingies you see at Borders to keep either the cider or the wine warm so I don't have to keep running up and down the hill with a pot full of hot liquid - hopefully we'll find another one in the next couple weeks. Plus, my husband's brand new power inverter will allow us to play tunes off of the tractor battery, so no running endless extension cords through the yard for people to trip over in the dark. As an added bonus, the need to create a big pile of sticks is prompting us to clean up the yard well before our natural inclination (which inclination is that?) to do so would have kicked in.

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    I am now the proud owner of 6 pint jars of dilly beans and have more jars ready for the hoped-for pickled cauliflower and brussels sprouts. The applesauce didn't happen because the orchard didn't have the winesaps ready, after all. Because I know that fruit growing (or growing anything, for that matter) is an inexact science I got over my disappointment. Perhaps this week if I'm able to get up to the orchard.


    So I made some more chocolate sauce instead. This time, though, I made it according to the recipe and not according to my tweak-it-as-you-go-along method. You know what? It's better. Seriously - and, blow to my ego aside, you really ought to check it out. It's delicious and simple (if a little dangerous - syrup burns really are horrifying so have your aloe plant near by - and pretty quick. If you're organized you can have several pints cooling on the counter in a matter of a half hour or so.


    In addition to working today I am in the process of sorting baby clothes. I have a few piles: 1) clothes that I will wash and send to my sister (whose son is due in the next few weeks) 2) clothes that I will wash and keep here for our (drum role please) baby girl and 3) clothes that I probably wouldn't put on a baby girl (yikes! gender roles and she's not even born!) but are too sentimental to give away. My sister's son will be born near enough to my son's birthday so that she will need to spend very little outfitting her boy. My daughter will be born near enough to her daughter's birthday so that I will need to spend very little outfitting my girl. Nice how these things work out.


    To wrap up for today, I am one of those sick people who find holiday preparations to be fun. I'm nearly done shopping and am wildly looking forward to wrapping and bow tying and shipping and all the rest. It is in the spirit of my madness I direct your attention to Christmas Baking with Susie J. Sue is a friend from college (we studied German together, with differing degrees of success - she actually speaks and remembers it and visits family in Germany with whom she can converse. sigh.) and is a kuchen goddess. (In a neat bit of serendipity, it turns out that she also was friendly with the man who became my husband although none of us knew that we all knew the others for a while. I also knew the man who has become her husband but, again, it took a while for us all to realize that we all knew each other.) Anyway, in addition to the benefit of Sue's wisdom, you may learn from the recipe submissions and "kitchen disasters" of others (for some reason I have three such entries of the latter). If Christmas is not celebrated in your house but you do have a relentless sweet tooth you, too, should check it out.

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